#Update #LifeUpdate #Colorful #WinterWonderland (🇺🇸 English)

[I'm just copy/pasting from my Instagram profile!]

Nyello buds~ I haven't been posting as often because (A) I didn't have many opportunities to create any "aesthetically pleasing" photos, (B) Super duper sleepy/sore, & (C) I'm genuinely having too much fun exploring various things alone! For some ideas I had, I feel like I'm making steady progress. With others, plans fell apart given life's natural circumstances.

As much as I want to break out & start resocializing myself 'normally' as I used to pre-pandemic, if I have to be honest, I'm enjoying my solitude a lot more. Given the rate that I'm going, I feel so much more at ease talking to a select handful of people & redefining my own boundaries. There's freedom when it comes to understanding one's own limitations so I'm going to continue to honor that.

I'm what one would call an "extroverted introvert". This means I would publicly 'mask' myself to acclimate to various social situations. I feel pretty confident talking to many people but later on, I get extremely overwhelmed. I need days or even a week or so to recover that sometimes my body jitters from the fatigue. I used to feel pressured to respond to every message or talk to as many people as I could just to "stay in the loop" but as I grow older, I come to terms that some things are worth missing out on for the sake of my own replenishment.

As much as I love networking, I love myself more (and you should love yourself more too)! I'm a homebody so without having a safe haven to recharge in, I can't go out & be my best for those who do interact with me. That being said, if I do come off a bit standoffish, it's nothing personal towards you (unless I explicitly say so... that I'll be straightforward with lol). It's more so for the sake of energy conservation.

My advice: never go too overboard due to "FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)". True friends will understand your condition & there'll be opportunities later for you to shine. You just gotta trust the process & listen to your body!

Eventually, I do want to follow through on what I intended & reopen my website/forum when the time comes. For now... I need more rest. Take care y'all & happy (or sad) hi-bear-nating 🧸💤

#Birthday #Holidays #LifeUpdate (🇺🇸 English)

Long time, no blog. I wanted to give a little life update here. Things have been getting progressively better whilst at the same time progressively worse. I've come to terms with my paradoxical nature so whatever you make of it is entirely up to you. I'll expand more on this later.

On June 28th of this year, I celebrated my 26th Birthday. I decided that this will be the last birthday (& holiday) I'll be celebrating for the rest of my life. One of the reasons is that I've been trying incessantly to break out of this myriad of groundhog days that have been thrust in my way. Not to mention how utterly tedious it is to follow the same traditions year after year. I've grown quite bored of the ordeal & I crave some form of change.

To place a more positive spin on things, I have another reason for this as well. I want to create my own celebrations that cater uniquely to my circumstances & ideally I'd bring along a few special friends that can join in on my shenanigans. I never had many great experiences during the holidays & in my past, I seemed to always be let down whenever they arise. Also, if I place more importance on making one day "perfect" than counter-intuitively, it becomes less "perfect" as it unfolds. This, of course, is not to create a pity party on any crappy childhood events that have transpired in my past though, at the same time, it doesn't take away the pain of being neglected during those moments. I figured I can use this as an opportunity to reclaim some form of empowerment by reliving some early 2000s nostalgia.

During my 26th Birthday, even though some people sadly weren't able to make it, I still enjoyed it. In the morning, we went to my local library to create these beautiful icecream shaped bouquets. Afterward, we went back to my place for lunch & I wished on my birthday pizza for "nothing" because I don't think I needed anything else. I got some really cute gifts as well! Anna Banana gave me super cute stationery & Shaun (Pan Ranger) mailed me some lovely handmade hair bows as well! I really love how everything was teddy bear-themed which was wonderful, I wish I wore teddy bear ears to go with it all but it's alright. For dessert, we munched on some colorful cupcakes Renee made & they were really yummy!

In the afternoon, we played dress-up with my plushies & took some commemorative cheki. The funny thing is that we were going to limit it to only my Build A Bears but we kept adding more plushies as time progresses. I couldn't stop laughing at how silly the ordeal turned out to be. Later on, we played some games, chatted up a bit more, & did some karaoke. In between, we had some downtime to rest up too. Surely for future events, I'll be incorporating breaks. It's also a way to prevent overstimulation so that way everyone can take things easy & recharge their batteries.

That's all for now. Video footage will be posted in the replies below. 🎂

#PrideMonth #Butterfly #Butterflies #Slug #Slugs #Bugs (🇺🇸 English)

🌈 So about 7 years ago around this time, I went to the Pride Parade in NYC. There were a few butterflies fluttering around but I found a monarch butterfly whose wings were torn up a bit. We felt bad for the poor fellow and I think someone stepped on it. We gave it some watermelon, hoping that it had a little bit of something to digest. After walking around, we found the original place where the lil’ guy came from and brought it back to the butterfly tent. Afterward, we found a slug on our way going onto the subway. As you can see, I like bugs a lot and I always played with them when I was a kid so I was never too opposed to them. 🦋

🏳️‍🌈 On another note, if you are going to any pride parade this month, please be careful out there! While I’m sure it’s a great time to be with friends and let loose, just be wary that some people use the event as a way to act irresponsibly too. So just be mindful and stay safe. Love ya ❤️

#Art #Artwork #Artist #Artists #Aesthetic #Painter (🇺🇸 English)

Afternoon Buds! 🎨

I've been pretty busy for a while so I haven't got a chance to wrap up the blog posts I wrote earlier. I'll try to finish the second half here～

The next artist is Elizabeth Sollazzo-Daland. My encounter with her was very intriguing considering I spoke with her & her daughter for over an hour or so. I believe the first thing they were talking about was the orcas she was painting & how they are dolphins, not whales (regardless that they are dubbed as "killer whales"). As I looked around the rest of her studio, the atmosphere was very comfy. It reminded me a lot like home.

When we talked about her thoughts on art in general, she told me that she wanted to emphasize beauty in all of her works. Paraphrasing her words, "If it doesn't capture beauty, it doesn't appeal to me." One time, she was viewing someone else's work & while they had vivid colors on display, something about it felt "off" to her. I was theorizing that there are people out there that use aestheticism as a way to garner attraction but the energy underneath it may not feel "beautiful". As an example, demons are depicted in many cultures to use shapeshifting as a way to cloak themselves & entice others.

Speaking of demons, she also told me about a paranormal encounter she had 30 years ago regarding her studio. There was a time when she wrote her name in the visitor's book & something compelled her to cross out her name - almost as if a higher force was channeling through her. She tried to enter her studio but there was almost this metaphysical wall that "blocked" her from going further. I told them I was a psychic medium & I act as a messenger "in-between" worlds. Confirming her experiences, I believed there definitely was some form of divine protection at play. Even now, that moment still lingers with her to the present day as death is something that she's afraid of. At least, she wants to make sure she's able to do the best she could with her time left. It also isn't the first I heard of paranormal experiences happening at Snug Harbor too.

Before I left, I was eyeing her butterfly painting & she gave it to me. I told her I've been interested in butterflies lately so reminds me of the Cabbage White breed in particular. When I see them flutter around, it feels like a sign of good luck! I placed the painting above the window in my bedroom when I got back home with other pink butterfly decals to complement the look!

To support, follow her on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/organicartist13/

Snug Harbor also recently published an article about her on their website:
https://snug-harbor.org/uncategorized/elizabeth-sollazzo-daland-follow-the-color%EF%BF%BC/

Finally, the previous artist I mentioned (Erin Butler) e-mailed me a link to a documentary about Snug Harbor here:
https://www.wliw.org/programs/treasures-of-new-york/snug-harbor-cultural-center-botanical-garden-z0msbh/

#Flower #Flowers #BotanicalGarden #Garden #Nature #Squirrel (🇺🇸 English)

I got some flowers for you～ 💐

I always told myself that whenever I have the opportunity, I want to learn about all the different kinds of flowers out there. I imagine myself as I get older having a garden that is well tended with pretty flowers, homegrown vegetables, and berries. I even want to have a small tea house with a large heated rabbit hutch next to it!

While I do have the space and framework available for that kind of setup, sadly, my backyard is kind of a dump 😬 (you can mostly blame my father for that). When it comes to living alone, housekeeping, and taking care of survival needs, it can be difficult to accomplish those kinds of goals on your own. I definitely would need time, energy, money, and not mention, proper knowledge to maintain it. I do think it's possible though realistically, it might be many years until that comes to fruition.

In the meantime, enjoy the rest of these photos with peonies, tulips, and lilacs galore (plus a squirrel video 🐿️)! The flowers may be a little tousled up from the wind but it doesn't change how well they withstood the weather despite it all. Not to mention, it's fascinating how they come in a variety of different colors too!

#Selfie #SelfiePosting #Flower #Flowers #BotanicalGarden #Garden #Nature #Bird #Birdwatching #Insects (🇺🇸 English)

Evening Buds! 🌸

I'm halfway finished writing out my blog posts regarding the Art Lab I visited last weekend but before I continue on with that, let's take a break and appreciate some nature!

Enjoying a brisk walk around Snug Harbor's Campus, I discovered lots of plants and flowers around the Carl Grillo Glass House. The Greenhouse is closed on most days though on very rare occasions, they open the place up for the public to view. I took some photos of the surrounding area and was even lucky enough to capture this glimpse of an American Robin grabbing an afternoon snack! 🪱🐦

I have more flower photos and will be uploading them very shortly!

#Art #Artwork #Artist #Artists #Aesthetic #Painter (🇺🇸 English)

Afternoon Buds! 🎨

I want to carry on with my experiences over at Snug Harbor's Art Lab last weekend. That being said, if you haven't read my earlier blog posts about it, feel free to do so to catch up to speed! I'll be showcasing the next artist; Griselda Healy.

The minute I walked into her studio, these large interconnected sky paintings caught my eye. It reminded me of the landscape I see every now and then when I walk around my neighborhood (that is if the weather is good). She was also inspired by the same view, mainly due to the fact people usually don't have many opportunities to see an open view of the sky in most parts of the city.

Though I didn't get a chance to take a photo of the other side of those paintings (I got too focused on our conversation and taking in the atmosphere), on the back of the panels were outlines of contemporary dancers. Once it's completed, she intends to connect the panels together like a Chinese Folding Screen.

She presented an example of these screens by explaining how they were made and the techniques used to create them. Artists would hang up silk fabric, paint on top of it, and then press gold leaf onto the canvas. These screens can be painted just like a storyboard and if desired, they can remove, add, or change panels however the artwork is suited for.

Next to the sky paintings was a large portrait of a woman sitting by the waterfront with the lighthouse in the distance. A few moments after, that same woman from the portrait walked into the studio and sat down, casually pulling a knife out of her bag to cut some food in her hand. She had a quirky personality and made some pretty funny jokes whenever she interacted with others. This woman is the Executive Director of the Noble Maritime Collection a few buildings over. It's an art & history museum showcasing the working waterfront of New York Harbor.

Erin would periodically walk into her studio to talk with Griselda for a few years now. In exchange for getting a portrait done by Griselda, Erin would then write a book about her. Even though I only had $5 cash on hand, Erin graciously allowed me to purchase the book from her. It goes into detail about their interactions together during each session and later on trailing off about Griselda's mother unfortunately passing away during the pandemic.

Speaking of the pandemic, Griselda told me that during the time, access to the art studio was limited though whenever she had the chance to go in and work, the solitude helped her focus. The studio was a peaceful escape considering the fact she lives a ferry boat ride away in the financial district of Lower Manhattan.

If you would like to see the rest of her work, here is her website:
http://www.griseldahealy.com/

To learn more about the Noble Maritime Collection, visit here:
https://noblemaritime.org/

#Art #Artwork #Artist #Artists #Aesthetic #OilPaint #OilPainting #Painter (🇺🇸 English)

As a continuation of my previous post, the next artist to highlight on my visit to Snug Harbor's Art Lab is Erin Butler. I told her what I really like about her artwork is very reminiscent of those warm feelings I would get as a toddler trying to understand the environment I'm in for the first time. The imagery that comes to my mind's eye is that feeling of laying down in bed, peering at the sunlight peeking through the windowsill, and watching the floaters dance around in my vision. Since I'm near-sighted, it's almost as if I was taking off my glasses and the edges of the furniture around me soften up, encapsulating me in a fuzzy nest.

I asked her if she had any social media and she didn't. I honestly didn't blame her since we both agreed that she is lucky in that regard. Not only is keeping up an online presence tough to maintain but I also explained to her the current climate of the ever-growing age of information and how if we don't get the chance to experience what's really going on around us, things such as this art studio become more obsolete. Places like Snug Harbor retain a lot of history (tracing way back to the 1800s) so, without the support of local communities and proper funding from the government, the beauty of it all becomes more difficult to preserve as time elapses.

When you think about it, it's almost scary how split our lives have turned out to be even well before the pandemic started. Though I'm still pretty young as a 25-year-old, sometimes I worry about the generations before me and if they will be able to experience these things too. Both teenagers and even adults become fixated on competitive outreach and trends that we lose sight of what's already present to us. Almost as if our tangible reality and virtual reality become blurred out, just as expressed in these paintings.

At the end of my visit to her studio, she offered me some lemon black tea with this cute honey spoon. I never knew such things existed, it looked almost like candy! I'll definitely keep in mind to buy some in the future because it seems to be pretty convenient to use.

Here is a link to more of her work if you are interested: https://www.wiaf.org/index.cfm/fa/c.artist/artist_id/10/name/Erin_Butler

#Art #Artwork #Artist #Artists #Aesthetic #OilPaint #OilPainting #Painter (🇺🇸 English)

Morning Buds! 🎨

Last weekend, the weather was a tad bit chilly so I bundled up and wore this grey sweater that Anna gave me. I decided to visit the Art Lab located in Snug Harbor's Cultural Center & Botanical Garden. I've been visiting Snug Harbor a little more frequently given that it's moments away from the Staten Island Ferry and was a nice change of pace.

There was an event on their website going on about an open artists' studio where you can not only see the space they work in but also have a chance to talk to the artists themselves. That floor is particularly closed off to the general public and access is limited given that the artists themselves need solitude to focus on their work.

Since I talked to most of them that occupied that floor, over time I'll be making separate posts highlighting each artist and what we talked about. That way, each individual has their spotlight!

The first one I spoke to was Linda Butti. She was super friendly, asking me what brought me here. Of course, I introduced myself to her and told her I was a local but I have never gotten the chance to properly immerse myself in Staten Island's culture. You would think after I lived here most of my life that I would have done so but there's a lot more that I've yet to really know about my hometown.

She later on briefly told me about her art and how a lot of it was inspired by nature. She always felt connected to it and wanted to capture that essence in her work. She told me there were times when she was walking in the woods and felt completely gravitated by the atmosphere, spiritually connecting to those sensations. The best way she was able to convey those feelings was through her painting. I hope after seeing some of her work, you'll feel that way too!

If you would like to see more and support her, this is her website: https://lindabutti.com/

#Friends #Food #FoodDiary #Plushie #Plushies (🇺🇸 English)

Pyonbanwa! ₍ᐢ｡ܫ｡ᐢ₎

Last week, my new friend Anna came back to America from her trip to Germany! I invited her over to my house as a way we can familiarize ourselves with one another and catch up to speed with our life circumstances during the pandemic.

To introduce her, Anna is a self-produced idol who lives in NYC just like me! Not only is she very talented with music but she also knows Japanese as well. Even with the short time we've been with each other, I learned so much and I absolutely adore her enthusiasm when she talks about things she's passionate about.

For example, she brought over some delicious non-homogenized milk and explained how Wisconsin is known for its dairy. She used to live in Wisconsin and dreamed of opening up a milk bar with all different kinds of flavored milk such as Raspberry Milk, Blueberry Milk, etc. I LOVE Banana Milk so my eyes lit upon the subject because I have never heard of something like that! Apparently, there is a place in NYC called "Milk Bar" but she was disappointed in the fact it was just a dessert place and not an actual milk bar.

She also loves prosciutto with fresh mozzarella and brought some over for me to snack on! It felt extremely nostalgic because I never had prosciutto in literal YEARS. I remember the last time I had some was when my father took me to the local Italian Grocery when I was 4 years old and he would push me in the shopping cart while we tried out food samples.

I gave her some belated birthday presents such as the tiny horse keychain that matches her bag and the sprout clip that's on her bunny (plus a lot more). I'm so happy she brought over her plushies and she got to see mine! Her elephant's name is Humphrey and her bunny's name is Klein Jonas (or KJ).

The funny story she told me about the bunny: when she brought it through airport security and carried it onto the plane, people mistaken it to be a real rabbit. Lil' guy had to be inspected too ​​

After continuing on with some life stories, we ended the day watching some Hello! Project Trainees (J-Pop Idols) and that pretty much sums up my day with her. Wrapping things up, I do hope that once I get a chance to continue on with my eczema story - I haven't forgotten about that!

#Skin #Skincare #Beauty #Health (🇺🇸 English)

Morning Buds! 🌷

Before I continue on the rest of my day, I wanted to not only show you my real face but also explain my relationship with my skin and why it's important to me. As a content warning: the following images & descriptions may be mildly graphic.

Throughout the years, I suffered from Eczema. It's an inflammatory skin condition that turns into rashes & also known as "the itch you can't scratch". Not only is it annoying to have but painful to deal with too.

[Fun Fact: If you are familiar with J-Pop Idols such as Morning Musume, Kamei Eri suffered from the condition & sadly graduated due to it. I surely related to her in that regard.]

Getting back on topic, there were moments when my skin got so bad that I had to be sent to the emergency room a couple of times. On my worse days, I felt an intense burning sensation with the urge to dig into myself which isn't fun to say in the slightest.

Eczema can be caused by a number of things and/or maybe genetic. I realized my condition exacerbates due to not only environmental factors but mainly stress. On my other platforms, I briefly touched upon my traumatic upbringing & how that type of abuse can affect one's psyche. In tandem, if you live in a dysfunctional household this can also worsen already underlying health conditions.

For example, my father in particular is a packrat & will accumulate filth in the house whilst leaving my mom to clean up (poorly) after him. There are not only physical things he refuses to let go of but also toxic mindsets as well. You could even throw in the BS cliché of "messy room, messy mind" into the mix though in my reality when things are neglected & not cared for properly, it creates a disturbance between the relationship you have with your external circumstances v.s. your internal self. My body's reaction to that was a signal to that as well in which no creams & topical ointments could necessarily "fix".

Of course, Eczema can't be cured with "cleaning" alone, though it does lessen exposure to further irritants. That plus being in a relaxed environment creates greater benefits to one's immunity. So, as I purge myself from these relationships but also bad habits unconsciously passed down to me, my condition gets easier to handle & lessens the more I heal.

Provided below are some photos with & without filters. Present-day, my face has become less dry & irritated after doing my best to maintain my skincare routine though as you see, there is some discoloration due to age & acne scarring. The only place where my Eczema hits the most is on my hands but that's mainly due to the labor I do around the house. Even if I have to attend to unfavorable jobs in my home, it's worth a bit of suffering just to ensure everything is maintained well.

That's all for now. I will touch up more on my skin condition plus some beauty tips in my next post so stay tuned!

P.S. Here's my Bunny PJ Shirt from last night! ​​

#Skincare #Beauty #Review (🇺🇸 English)

Pyonbanwa~ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

I'll be showing you what skincare products I'm using for tonight! Keep in mind that I'm not an expert and I'm just an everyday consumer. I just started to use both of these products today so I'll let you know my progress as time elapses. In addition, I'll be talking more about my actual skin in another post.

After my cleansing routine, I felt like trying on a sheet mask. Out of all the sheet masks I used over the years, I tend to lean towards the Pure Smile Brand the most. It works well for me and I personally like their milky essence masks due to how moisturizing it feels on my face. Unfortunately, they didn't have an 8-Pack of that kind in stock so I opted for this.

Plus, what I also like about Japanese sheet masks in comparison to Korean ones is their face shape. Since I have a round face, Japanese sheet masks fit better on me while Korean sheet masks have a longer & more oval shape to them.

Getting to the actual product: this mask emphasizes on Ceramides & Vitamin E which these ingredients, in particular, are meant to act as a protective barrier for the skin to keep out germs. I wanted to replenish that barrier since over the past couple of years my skin has gotten worse. It either could be due to the pandemic or because I’m getting older. That, plus I neglected my face due to overall stress and fatigue.

Once I placed it on, it had a wine-like scent. It wasn’t overbearing and I sorta liked it? After I finished wearing the mask for 15 minutes, I layered on a bit of this Ponds “Perfect Colour Complex” Beauty Cream. I found it at Dollar Tree and was sort of shocked they sold that brand there. It’s supposed to help with discoloration which I definitely needed since I struggle a bit with acne scarring (more on that later).

Upon application, I noticed it had a light floral fragrance. I was a bit concerned if it would irritate me but thankfully it didn't. Though I don't mind fragrance too much, I don't particularly trust floral ingredients in facial skincare products because it makes me think about pollen. You would have to wonder... isn't that supposed to be away from your face? Why would you want to add it on? I mean then again, I love rose scented body lotions which is fine but I would never put it on my face. If there are any skincare nerds out there who would like to enlighten me, please do so.

Furthermore, I don't usually opt for many western skincare brands since some are too harsh for me and not worth the price. Ponds in particular though is a brand my friend recommended to me and I had no troubles with it. The green tub is used as an oil cleanser to dissolve makeup and the blue tub is a thick moisturizer. I personally love the tacky feeling it leaves on my face because then I know once I wake up, my skin won't feel too dry.

Overall, I didn't have any problems with these products! I feel alright so far～

Join me on my next post where I talk about my actual face! 🤓

#Food #FoodDiary (🇺🇸 English)

A week ago, I got some Curry Flavored Popcorn Chicken & Garlic Bread from 7-Eleven. There was supposed to be mozzarella cheese in the bread but for some reason there was none. Suspicious… 🧐 though it still tasted good regardless.

I brewed my own Oolong Honey Milk Tea at home to save money. I just used the tapioca from the same place I bought the Popcorn Chicken from because it was just 50¢ alone. I think it tastes just as good as getting it from a bubble tea shop! Maybe next time, I’ll buy the tapioca pearls from the Asian Grocery and cook them myself.🧋

#Selfie #SelfiePosting (🇺🇸 English / 🇯🇵 日本語)

Glasses on... Glasses off...
It's like I'm two different people 🤯

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メガネオン．．．メガネオフ．．．
別の人に変身しました 🤯

#Introduction / #自己紹介 (🇺🇸 English / 🇯🇵 日本語)

Pyonbanwa～

Welcome to my Misskey Profile! ₍⑅ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎⚟ ʜɪ ✧

My real name is Juliane but you can call me Julily. I'm an American, born and raised in New York City! I have been performing as a pop idol for a fraction of my life though I will be using the title of "Eyedol" instead to refer to my purpose. The reason why is because I don't want to be idolized, Eye want you to see me as a normal girl. 🤓

Besides singing and dancing, my other hobbies include talking to my Build-a-Bears, cleaning, and sleeping. I'll be blogging about my daily life on here so look out for content regarding beauty, food, plushies, etc. Although this blog will mostly be in English, sometimes I will add a brief Japanese description to my posts as well. Bear in mind that my Japanese isn't the greatest but regardless, I'll try my best! 🧸

If you are interested, please follow me! I'm looking forward to interacting with you all.❤️

(P.S. This is my teddy bear and her name is Princess Cocoa. 🎀)

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ぴょんばんは～

私の #Misskey プロフィールへようこそ！ ₍⑅ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎⚟ ʜɪ ✧

ニューヨーク市に住んでいるアメリカ人のジュリリです！本名はジュリアンですが、ジュリリとよく呼ばれてます。海外でEyedol （アイドル）として活動しています。なぜアイドルではなく、Eyedolって呼ぶのかって言うと、それはアイドル（偶像）より、あなたの眼（Eye）で普通の女の子として見られてほしいからです。🤓

歌とダンス以外の趣味は、Build-a-Bearのぬいぐるみと会話することや、掃除と寝ることです。ブログの内容は美容、食事、ぬいぐるみなどとなります。日本語はまだ自信がないので大半に英語でブログを書きます。🧸

興味のある方方はぜひフォローしてね！どうぞ宜しくお願いします。❤️

（P.S. これは私のテディベアで、彼女の名前はプリンセスココアです。🎀）